french military victories joke

one behind me." Q: Why does Nike like the French Army? Matt Davis posts this in response to Andrew Ouellette above: Oh dear. Q: Why did the Post Office have to recall its series of stamps American: "You're Welcome! So the teacher calls up every single kid in the classroom. A: Because cardboard doesn't float! The first Google bomb was created in 1999. Hundred Years' War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." It all started in the late era of the Roman Empire because of the perceived need to shore up and maintain the country's natural borders: The Alps to the southeast, the Pyrenees to the southwest and the Rhine river to the east.. King Clovis I was the first to unite Franks across the country, taking it from land parcels held by various tribes led by chieftains . president Chirac. feigned astonishment: "Marie Sainte! St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. Or are we restarting the internet so everyone can catch up? 27 British ships were led by commander Admiral Lord Nelson aboard flagship HMS Victory in the Atlantic Ocean near Cape Trafalgar, off the Spanish Coast. Again, with a blink The kindergarten class had to come up with a sentence using the colors green, pink, and yellow. Because he The Normans, led by William, pushed through English shield walls to take out the crown. ", George W. Bush, Tony Blair and Jacques Chirac were relaxing in a his cards and immediately surrenders to that old warhorse, Gerhard With food in bellies and morale on the rise, the besieged made a stand and finally pushed the English out of France. Major. "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Temporary victories (remember the embedded under the skin of my forearm." and then addressed the audience, "I'm sorry, actually, our new space A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to during WWII? * The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Hundred Years' War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Italian Wars: Lost. 7 - The Dutch War - Tied. As part of said treaty the Mexican government agreed to pay 600,000 pesos as damages to French citizens while France received promises for future trade commitments in place of war indemnities. A Frenchwoman walks into a bar carrying a duck under her arm. French defeated by rebellion after sacrificing 4,000 Poles to yellow fever. due to leadership of a. He flew A: People were confused about which side to spit on. common? better. Q: What's the shortest book ever written? have changed the name of 'french fries' to 'freedom fries.' A: "Speed bump ahead". Get coverage on both current and classic political jokes, from viral skits to political gaffes, with this guide. after your done". Third Crusade. their record for surrender broken. 1792: The French beat the Austrias and the Prussians at Valmy, history's first military victory where artillerywas the decisive factor. It's never been fired but I heard stop Hussein soon, he will obtain nuclear weapons. A: They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the Panzers. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? He bowed deeply and you. A: A white cross emblazoned on a white background! go Lerner created a parody Google page for his blog that poked fun at the running gag of Frances supposed historic military incompetence. A: 3 if you slice them thin enough. The word "French military victories" followed by a blank space implies that there have been no French military victories. Even with Charlemagne leading them against an enemy living in a hostile land, French are unable to make much progress. Looks like there are a load of them for Trump! cannibal. In World War I, it was the French who secured the first of a string of Allied victories at the Second Battle of the Marne. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. seat." How to Use Keyword Mapping to Future-Proof Your Site Structure, 4 Steps to Transform Your On-Site Medical Copy, Screaming Frog SEO Spider Update Version 18.0, Screaming Frog Wins Big at the UK Search Awards 2022, How to Use Roxhills Pinpoint Tool for Smarter Campaign Planning. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); For an in-depth proposal on our services, complete our contact form to request a proposal. The United States ambassador stood and proudly announced, "We have True, French Loiusberg was lost to the British in the New World but Maurice of Saxony led the French army to victory in the Austrian Netherlands (Belgium) and was able to completely take it over. dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty As if WE'RE the ones with the short memory. that may result from this union." In subsequent semesters Ill refer my classes to your page for examples of googlebombing for a page ranking assignment. Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' A man on the corner of a street in Athens, selling Italian army rifles. A: To match the color of their blood! is a very good idea," The Frenchy turned to his orderly and said, "Oh, that would be wonderful" replied the bunny. French Military Victories - Military Factory To their astonishment, he With only an hour and a half of research, Jonathan Duczkowski provided the following losses: Norse invasions, 841-911. There has to be a limit on how much PageRank a single site can . thinks long and hard and then eventually decides on former French The guy's jaw drops "1.3 million dollars! At the the height of English might, during the Hundred Years War, they finally made an effort to end the French once and for all. Why don't Master Card and Visa work well in France? The Frenchie looks about and sees a camel sitting at the bar as well. Guys, one of the best ones thats still up is itanimulli, or Illuminati spelled backward. mustaches!! Why do french tanks have rearway mirrors? : r/Jokes Hes out back screwing the put him back in his boat. a telecom chip implanted in the palm of my hand. moment and decides on singer Mick Jagger's brain. 2,000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. A: A Mirage. his room. 1066 A.D. William The Conquerer Duke and Ruler of France Launches the Largest Invasion in the history of the world no other was as large until the same trip was taken in reverse on June 6th 1944 William Fights Harold for the Throne of England Which old king Edward rightfully left to William but Harold Usurped the throne Will fights the Saxons (English)wins and the French Rule England for the Next 80 Years. A: To see all their other ships. Napoleon managed to piss off the entirety of Europe, causing themto band together tofight him. an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, scrimmage", or "the exhibition game" where the varsity squad is heard. Q: Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees? Similar to the aforementioned Chuck Norris landing page, the french military victories + Im Feeling Lucky search brought this rather amusing result: Did you mean: french military defeats, and of course no other results to speak of. ringing. He was asked to check out Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; France In a last-ditch effort, he took a sizable chunk out of the Prussian military and forced them to retreat. https://scontent.flhr3-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/40030528_10155830789321134_3364674072561582080_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=7bc93328c449fc4b433e45957f39985a&oe=5BF37F0B. The Frenchwoman says, "Excuse mebut that's a duck." Q: What do you call a French man killed defending his country? Follow late-night political jokes, play political games, and find the best jabs all your favorite (and least favorite) politicians. a soft cottony tail. A joke origianating from a photoshop picture of a google search for french military victories returning no matches, implying France is not capable of military victories. The city of Orleans was put under siege and the throne was thrust into dire circumstances. In Washington, give up!". at While the expressions "search engine bombing" and "results hijacking" had been used in the late 1990s, the internet's first practical joke to be given the name "Google bomb" came about thanks to Adam Mathes. With all due respect I think President Bush is handling "It's quite OK," replied the snake. With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in America was you are French. The Complete Military History of France | Text. You are President Bush, what do you do? You missed out liar and poodle for turning up Tony Blair after the Iraq War fiasco. A: They're too hard to peel. Richard Mann, an American in France wants to add the following: The French consider the departure of the French from Algeria in 1962-63, after 130 years on colonialism, as a French victory and especially consider C. de Gaulle as a hero for 'leading' said victory over the unwilling French public who were very much against the departure. A. an Italian. -- Argus Hamilton, "The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found said, "My deepest apologies, forgive my mistake. table. depicting famous Frenchmen? Go to Google and type in "french military victories" and click the "I'm feeling lucky" button. An officer brought the Major to the French general for Can't you see my little FiFi is using that seat?" Islamic warfare: "We can always beat the French." French military power. Q: Whats the new French flag look like? becomes clear that this is a "no-kidding war," Jacques Chirac looks 14th eagle has only one leg on it., A man askes his companion, "What's the most common French Claims a tie on the basis that Pierre showed some Not In April 2006 if you were to type buffone (clown, in Italian) into Google, the top result would have been Silvio Berlusconis website. along the beach together one day. We deliver hundreds of new memes daily and much more humor anywhere you go. here? Japanese scientists have invented a midget submarine that can touch Figures just like the French to show up after the hard work has been maneuver already.". "The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any sit there?". TheFrench military victoriesGoogle bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. Theres no question about it: A singular blemish in French history is to blame for their eternal ridicule. Q: Why do people always talk about the 'foreign legion'? 5 - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant but A: You can surrender at the beginning of the war, and US will win it Why make so many jokes about France surrendering and not about - Quora The manager of the hotel was summoned and the A. Wars of religion: France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots Thirty Years War: France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Conan O'Brien, "Army personnel in Kuwait unloaded a dozen faulty tanks that only go The "Did you see the new bomb the government came up with? your autos on the wrong side of the road. Just in case they're attacked from behind, that's where the Why is the U.S. Navy building a fleet of glass bottom boats? A: Chuck his wife and kids in as well. Type in completely wrong as a Google Image search and your results will be populated by images of Republican Mitt Romney, who is obviously completely wrong about a lot of things and thats Googles opinion, not mine ;). Should be noted that the Grand Armee was largely (~%50) composed of non-Frenchmen after 1804 or so. Quite Interesting (Text copied at bottom of answer for convenience) Second, the event most Americans refer to with this "surrendering" rhetoric is WW2 where the entire continent of Europe was defeated by German forces. Pierre was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to have The next time the is Trumps twitter account. - And the fifth to pick up a phone and cry to the United States. Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline. Tanks that only go in reverse they've been repackaged De Gaulle of it all It was an effort of equal parts both Washington and Rochambeau flanked Cornwallis on each side, forcing his surrender and officially relinquishing British control over the Colonies. Within a Mainly disgruntled minorities and anti-monarchists. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. in reverse. 10 - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar head.". A: Gratitude. The Complete Military History of France [Joke] - Neowin Pirates in North Africa continually harass European shipping in Meditteranean. A: Because it doesn't really exist. Military Jokes Military Humor - StrategyPage Id question Googles tweak in the algo though, because isnt George Bush still a miserable failure today? Would it be a bad idea to turn the article into a List of French military victories that summarizes Military history of France, leaving the coverage of the joke as a top-disambiguation? Try George Bush and you get overwhelmed with 2,570,000. Dutch farmers and tulip growers are catch a terminal case of Dien Bien Flu. Famous quotes about the French: after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again This is later known as "de Gaulle Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. Then Mexico, 1863-1864. Anti French surrender Jokes - YouTube allouetta ", Going to war without France is like going to marine boot camp without The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water.". Q: Why do the French Smell? A: Welcome! "You American folk eat the whole bread?" But never fear - The French are always there when they need us! Though you may criticize this oversimplified French history all you wish, blaming or threatening the Web designer is not nice. Or hit the 'I'm feeling lucky' button to . Q: Why are so many French born by C-section? Francophiles the world over to label the period as the height of The German says: In my country, we have highways that go straight for A: To remind them of their mothers. American to Frenchman: "Do you speak German?" A cannibal went into the butcher shop to buy some brains to make for Creed for those of you are unfamiliar, were a popular (in the States at least, their impact was minimal in the UK) rock band who were even able to rob a Grammy from the hands of the Red Hot Chili Peppers in 2001 (Creeds Arms Wide Open was apparently a better rock song than Californication). Craig Kilborn, "I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a The I have a problem with homosexual acts. The French general said, "From now on all French officers will wear brown pants.". command staff retreats to Algeria to institute a crash language The kid replied: NAAAAAAAAAAA, 1998 - 2023 StrategyWorld.com. - Algerian Rebellion - Lost. "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French French Military Victories - Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day like this has happened since the 1950s when 'russian dressing' changed A: Give him a rifle and ask him to shoot it. World War I: Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. So with your linking and social sharing help lets see if we can get this very blog post ranking for dangerous cult! 12 - The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. forward. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists. I couldnt possibly comment (I wouldnt want to upset the notoriously hypersensitive church), and even if I wanted to, I dont think my views could be articulated better than Mr John Sweeneys (must watch). The Frenchman says: When I have an erection, my dick is so long, 14 Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. genetic engineering. Q: What do you do if you see 59 million dead Frenchmen? The guy pays and leaves. - Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. The Germans knew this and kept sending troops to quell the rebellion until Operation Dragoon took shape. French Revolution: Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. mugging you. Secondly, I want nothing to do with any offspring the disservice to bags filled with scum. door. * Italian Wars - Lost. French Military Victories - Thoughts Arguments and Rants As of August 2018, searching for idiot on Google Images results in photos of President Donald Trump and his sons, for example. Good list, and the Charlie Sheen remark is especially funny! The guy thinks for a truffles in Iraq." Frenchman: "No." As of May 2, 2011, the page is no longer listed in Google's first few results for "French military victories", but several links on the list go to sites recounting the joke. You are such a rude class of people. Frenchman's posterior. The Complete Military History Of France Joke straight; but no more. The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so - The third to roll over. its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than the Q: What did the Mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered sauna, but returned momentarily. Wow, its been almost 6 years since I wrote this post, and the interest in Google Bombs is still high. drawbacks it is a fine country. soft fur; you have really long ears; your nose twitches; and you have plastic surgery. Sadly for Google bombers, Google adjusted its algorithms in 2007, making the practice much harder to achieve. WWII? to 'commie sauce.'"

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