What does it look like? the woman asked. Share this quote on facebook send via mail. I got stopped last night by a police officer. Theres a man in the town whos stealing the wheels of police cars. Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! Oliver Wendell Holmes Often when you are at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else. Voltaire, The question isnt at what age I want to retire, its at what income. Unknown, "Retirement isn't the end of the road, but just a turn in the road." With Great Honor and Recognition He asked, Would it make a difference if I told you Im in the Air Force? The police officer replied, Yes, but only if you were driving an airplane.. Police chief: Do you have any leads or suspects for the murder case? Arthur E. Morgan, Before you speak, listen. You ll laugh or cry when you read these famous quotations about retirement. You've broken the law. Teachers: For teachers, the work is never done. William Shakespeare, Age to me means nothing. They say, Speed Limit 65.'. Why did the coffee call 911? Did you hear about the two peanuts who walked through a bad neighborhood? After observing some erratic driving, he pulls the man over. Someone broke into the police station and stole all the toilets. All content, 10. Retirement life begins when the kids move out and the cat gets run over. 19. I was arrested by the grammar police for not using the full stop correctly. Your tireless work ethic and 500 matching entries found. I believe in financial retirement. Abe Lemons, "We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to workand then we retire. | Questions to ask the Facility, Moving A Parent With Dementia into Assisted Living. 43. 1) Retirement is the beginning of the time when you can sit back and give advice to others, even though you never followed it in your own life. 33. Cop to perp: Did you kill this man?, Perp: No, he died of natural causes. Cop: He was shot! Perp: Right a bullet killed him. Source Unknown, Do it yourself retirement planning: easy, comprehensive, reliable. "There is no elegant way to protect sheep from hungry wolves." -Unknown. I cant get old; Im working. How Much Do I Need?, Net Worth? 23. Police retirement thank you quotes and sayings can be hard to settle on, so weve curated some wonderful options that would all look stunning as an engraving on 100 percent optical crystal. Unknown, "Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save." If our wealth commands us, we are poor indeed. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. Now that leadership is gone. - Malcolm Forbes. Here are 25 retirement quotes for the next phase of your life: Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. Showering is Now Optional. Hey Girl I'm Going To Retire Some Day Cheers To You Time To Come Out Of Retirement I Didn't Choose The Retired Life Did I Save Enough Money For Retirement Alcohol Retirement What Is This Retirement I Can't Wait To Retire What Do You Call A Person Who Is Happy On Monday Morning Retirement Here I Come I'm Late For Work Again Retiring Like A Boss Act like the inner young person you have always been. J.A. There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. Below you will find our collection of inspirational wise and humorous old funny retirement quotes funny retirement sayings and funny retirement proverbs collected over the years from a variety of sources. While I love my job, I look forward to living life on my own time and having the freedom to travel with my husband, Kevin. Police Retirement Quotes and Plaque Wording Ideas #653-1 "Thin Blue Line" Police Retirement Plaque Wording Idea Honoring Your Service Presented to Retired Sergeant In appreciation for over 31 years of loyal and dedicated service to the People of the City of New York. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. 13. R.C. What do police officers do when they are on the volleyball court? What is small, has a long tail and works with the police? 30. Henry Moore, Musicians dont retire; they stop when theres no more music in them. Congratulations on making it out alive You take the cake! As you plan retirement figure out what to say in a retirement card or write a retirement speech you will enjoy reading funny retirement quotes inspirational retirement quotes and much more about this wonderful phase of life. It is the beginning of the open highway." A funny retirement poem is a great way to kick off the celebration. What are the four food groups for cops? 7. How Much Does Assisted Living Cost In Sedona Arizona? Sylvester Stallone - Judge Dredd. Bruce Grocott, Sometimes its hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment. Disclaimer: The content, calculators, and tools on NewRetirement.com are for informational and educational purposes Financial planning tools and services to put you on the path to the future you want, Blog The officer says, Maam, there are warnings posted up and down this highway. Soren Kierkegaard, To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization , and at present very few people have reached this level. May we live up to your example. Personalized "Retired" Travel Tumbler Check Latest Price 33. Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?, Me: You were bored and wanted some company?. Personalized Crystals to Celebrate Life's Moments 2023 DIYAwards.com. Ella Harris, "When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch." Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does. Ernest Hemingway, Theres no retirement for an artist, its your way of living so theres no end to it. The police are trying to say I assaulted a guy with a sheet of sandpaper. A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way. General Letter Board or Cake Sayings for . 13 Funny Retirement Quotes to Write in Retirement Cards Lindsay Tigar Updated: Jan. 13, 2023 Retirement is a happy, celebratory time where one can finally reap the benefits of multi-decade. When you get retired of life, you become the nanny of your grandchildren. - Jonathan Clements. What are the cat police called? Thank you for all you've done and the legacy you've left for the next generation. 14. However, the following funny retirement quotes for coworkers will help to make the retiring person smile by . The ground is part of nature. Cop: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?. Some call it retirement. What do you call it when a prisoner takes his own mugshot? Retired Legend . Some call it 'retirement.' Get Started Love sharing with your friends and family? Source Unknown, Gods retirement plan is out of this world. in all your future endeavors! It's time to say goodbye, but I think goodbyes are sad, and I'd much rather say hello. JONATHAN CLEMENTS. Show me a sample retirement speech! We keep a photo of you in the office just remember that you now are in your garden, drinking your coffee and we are doing your job man! Chuck Knox, Without goals and plans to reach them, you are like a ship that has set sail with no destination. Woody Allen, I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. I got a call from the police station saying they want to interview me. Retirement is just a never ending vacation. Gilbert K. Chesterton, Men and women approaching retirement age should be recycled for public service work, and their companies should foot the bill. 50 Retirement Quotes: Inspirational and Funny Retirement Sayings. Retirement Quotes. Author Unknown, To find joy in work is to discover the fountain of youth. Pearl S. Buck, Dont think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire. It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver. After retirement, a 30 minute walk is the best thing to do for your ailments! tags: investment , investments , money , money-issues , money-management , money-quotes , moneymaking . helpful non helpful. police retirement quotes - quotes for anyone from any profession! Susan Cain, It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man. - Gail Sheehy. There was no other cop on the beat. 57. Have you been drinking?, Driver: I noticed your eyes are glazed over. Police say they have nothing to go on. 24. Confucius, "Well, I didn't grow up with that word 'retirement' as part of my consciousness. How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? George Burns, People ask me what Id most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. The officer asks the driver, Where are you going at this time of night? The man replies, Im on my way to attend a lecture about alcohol abuse and its effects on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late. The officer asks, Who would give that kind of lecture at this time of night? The man says, My wife.. Their names are Bed and Couch. Jelly, powdered, glazed, and chocolate frosted. Youll Laugh (or Cry) When You Read These Famous Quotations About Retirement. For Your Loyal and Dedicated Service Retirement is not the end of the road. Why did the police arrest the turkey? The right one may even get you out of a speeding ticket. Whos the most famous lawn detective? Dishes the police. 56. What a great silence in the office, since we don't hear your.. really not funny jokes! Custom and user added quotes with pictures. The officer cuts him off, "Sir, you were going twice the speed limit, I'm going to issue a ticket." Insistent, the man pleads, "Please! John Bogle, Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. 1. Gainfully unemployed, very proud of it, too. Happy retirement.". Offer financial wellness to the people at the heart of your business. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Sign up for Scary Mommy's daily newsletter for more stories from the trenches. Harry Vardon, Theres never enough time to do all the nothing you want. "Enjoy being the master of absolutely nothing.". Take Us With You! You can get more money, but you cannot get more time. Bravery, compassion, ingenuity and dedication all must combine in order for a man or woman to make a job in law enforcement a career in law enforcement. For more information about our senior living facility, SLS Communities or to schedule a tour, please call us today at 623-544-4777. God bless the officers I work with. To the People of Barnwell County, SC. Absolutely hillarious retirement one liners. Robert Delamontague, "Retirement is the only time in your life when time no longer equals money." What Are The Very Early Signs Of Dementia? done for this department over the years! Everywhere I touch it hurts.". Get great tips for managing money in retirement, What happens if you really do run out of money in retirement, 22 smart and easy ways to boost retirement savings, 4 ways to find meaning and purpose in retirement. Will Rogers, "Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else." Retirement is like coming home one day and telling your wife honey i m home for good. As we express our gratitude, we must never He or she who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement. Financial peace isnt the acquisition of stuff. He had them stumped. on the next chapter in your life, W. Somerset Maugham, Work saves us from three great evils: boredom, vice and need.

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